| | |  Travel & Outdoors | September 2008 
A Couple’s Guide to Gay Puerto Vallarta
 Jeffrey James Keyes - GayWired
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This past summer my boyfriend and I were looking for a laid back place where we could get our beach on during the day and have some cocktails and be fabulous at night. I like to take in culture, recreation, and arts when I travel while he is all about fabulous dinners, bars, and clubs. The solution? Puerto Vallarta.
Before heading down there, we discovered that there are essentially two parts of Puerto Vallarta: the North Side and the South Side. The North section of PV is like tourist land: honeymooners don Senor Frog’s T-shirts and grope each other up and down the sidewalk. There are parts of it that are like any other city in America with Hooters, Burger King, Hard Rock Café, and McDonalds. Thanks but no thanks.
By contrast, the North side of Puerto Vallarta, appropriately named “Zona Romantica” is definitely the choice place to spend your gay vacation. We booked a room at the Hotel Mercurio (hotel-mercurio.com) and couldn’t have been more pleased. Located a block and a half from the beach, and right off of the busy Olas Atlas street, the Hotel Mercurio is situated in the heart of the Gayborhood. The staff is friendly and bends over backwards for the hotel guests. The blue-tiled pool and intimate bar, where we met great couples while downing fruity drinks lends the ambiance of a tropical gay Melrose Place. Open 24-hours, it’s also the best late nightspot to sneak a kiss with your lover under the Jalisco stars.
The non-traditional couple might want to stay at the Blue Chairs Hotel (hotelbluechairs.com) where you can mingle with shirtless boys on the rooftop, throw on a brand new Frida Kahlo sarong and saunter down to the adjacent beach, or participate in any number of the “social events” the hotel lays out for it’s visitors. We hit Blue Chairs for Gay BINGO on our first night in town and the Dirty Bitches (The Diva, Fashionista, Priscilla, Jacqueline, and Angelica; the fierce local drag queens of PV) emceed a raunchy and entertaining show/game.
With luck always on my side I won the grand prize of the evening: drinks on the house and an envelope full of gift certificates and two for ones all over town. The real prize was the friendship of the Dirty Bitches. The Diva told us to meet her show at the Kit Kat Club so we obliged. We were a little hungry so we ordered a few appetizers at the Kit Kat lounge and enjoyed the chic décor and the hunky host, Pablo. The Diva showed up fashionably late (with Jacqueline, out of drag), tore it up with Anastasia’s “Not That Kind”.
Three martinis later Pablo and The Diva gave us the low down on the nightlife of the South Side of PV. Club Mañana (manana.com.mx) is definitely the hottest club in town. Peter Deep and Shaun Butler opened the club, offering nightly events ranging from Sunday beer blasts, drag nights, hot boy contests, and guest performers (Thelma Houston and Kristine W to name a few). The pool area is the best place to mingle and kick back. We made it there on our third night in town and The Diva showed up with her gorgeous entourage. Surrounded by our new crew, we danced until the sun came up. If you’re looking for less of a scene: catch drinks at the martini bar Sama, listen to the beats of DJ Ramses at Stereo, or share a few cozy drinks at La Noche. We stopped by Club Paco Paco (club-pacopaco.com ) one night and there were some pretty good strippers but they don’t even compare to Club Mañana.
Nightlife aside, the best thing to do while in Puerto Vallarta is to grab a Pina Colada on Los Muertos beach and forget about everything back at home. The Blue Chairs are the prime location on the beach. If they’re full, the Green Chairs next door suffice. Either way, the ocean sprawls out in front of you, the water is great for swimming, riding waves with the new boogie board just purchase up on Olas Atlas Street, or simply watching men and boys splashing each other over the horizon.
Diana’s Gay Cruise (dianastours.com) offers party boat expeditions to remote beaches and unlimited party cheer. We were going to splurge on this day long cruise but our new found dragtastic BFFs took us to a remote beach off the coast of Banderas Bay, not far from Yelepa. Los Muertos is a great beach, but if you get the chance, check out some of the other sandy options.
It’s easy enough to spend your entire vacation basking in the sun and bobbing up and down in the surf but Puerto Vallarta has plenty to offer. Gorgeous sculptures sprinkle down coastline. Rafael Zamarripa’s 9-foot bronze sculpture famously called The Seahorse perches at the end of Los Muertos. This sculpture’s twin rides an identical seahorse in Malceon, on the other end of Puerto Vallarta (for the straight people to enjoy). This statue often serves as the symbol of Puerto Vallarta.
Also be sure to walk along the Malecon for many more sculptures including C. Espino’s Neptune and the Nereid featuring the handsome Roman God of the Sea and a mythical sea nymph. The Millennium, sculpted by Mathis Lidice in 2001, represents the passage of time through the evolution of man. For a taste of Puerto Vallarta’s indoor art, there are over thirty art galleries to choose from. Every Wednesday there is an Art Walk from 6-10pm where you can enjoy a cocktail and hop from gallery to gallery. I recommend contemporary art at Galleria Dante (galleriadante.com), Galeria Corsica (galeriacorsica.com) or at the gay-owned Sol y Luna (solylunapv.com). If it’s adventure you seek, adventure you’ll get. Canope La Vista (canopylavista.com) is just a half hour outside of PV in Sierra Madre and offers an unbelievable tropical view for just $93.50. Another option is the hour-long dolphin party at Dolphin Adventure (dolphin-adventure.com) for $149. Sea Lion swims are significantly less at $65 a swim.
While you’re in town be sure to check out the Los Arcos, the Aquiles Serdan (outdoor amphitheater), and the friendship fountain. There are great souvenirs (Day of the Dead collectibles, Diego Rivera prints, postcards of Zamarripa’s Seahorse, and anything else you might want to bring home). If more shopping is essential the Malecon is an eleven-block seaside promenade where you will find something for that needy co-worker who collects spoons or snow globes from around the world. You’ll have to make some shopping compromises, though: I allowed my boyfriend bring home three “unique” Day of the Dead Nativity scenes in exchange for one enormous Frida Kahlo wall hanging. Needless to say, we ended up buying an extra luggage and converting our kitchen into a “little Puerto Vallarta” when we came home.
Speaking of cucinas, there are four restaurants you must visit while staying in Puerto Vallarta: Café Olla, Café San Angel, La Palapa, and Le Kliff. We had our first dinner at Café Olla and it was scrumptious. We had the most delicious enchiladas and devoured carne asadas. Café San Angel served as our daily lunch spot. If you miss the delicious spread at the Hotel Mercurio be sure to saunter down the hill to this great sidewalk nook for huervos rancheros or burritos stuffed with chorizo and eggs. We ended up having every lunch at the Café San Angel.
If you want a romantic dinner, I would urge you to book a candlelight dinner at La Palapa on the beach. This restaurant, the first on Los Muertos, has served savory appetizers and fresh seafood to upscale beachgoers since 1957. An even more romantic option is the spectacular Le Kliff Restaurant, about a half hour south of Puerto Vallarta, just past the location where Richard Burton and Ava Gardner filmed Tennessee Williams’ The Night of the Iguana. We had the most amazing dinner at Le Kliff, and caught a sunset that made me want to stay there forever. We split the goat cheese salad and I had the roasted pork loin with fennel while my lover enjoyed his seared salmon with chili orange glaze. As the sunset we shared a chocolate lava cake and a bottle of Don Luis Terra. A storm moved through Le Kliff at dusk and the electricity went out. Tropical birds came out of nowhere and rested on the boards of the Palapas above us and we snuck a kiss over the candlelight on our table.
We will definitely be back.
Jeffrey James Keyes lives in New York and writes plays and travels the world writing about places and things in all kinds of publications and websites. |
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