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Puerto Vallarta News NetworkHealth & Beauty | April 2008 

Now They've Gone Too Far
email this pageprint this pageemail usLen - PVNN

Puerto Vallarta - Knowing how all of you have missed my certain brand of joie de vivre, I wondered what I could possibly do or say to bring a smile to your faces. We all need to focus more on what makes us smile and giggle.

So often we can get run down and bored by the same old stuff every week that it starts to take a toll on our attitude... and before you know it, your face. Let us never forget the words of Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias: "Time marches on, Honey, and pretty soon you realize it is marchin' right across your face." Truer words were never spoken.

It is true that I have been absent for awhile in the local publications. Five years ago "Use Your Head" started off as a guide on how to take care of our hair and skin in our tropical climate. Needless to say, it has moved above and beyond what I ever dreamed possible, not to mention the sleep-engaging topics that seem to dominate the regular press.

This week I would like to return to my roots. Those would be the days of wild abandonment and attitude. Hair was hair and "over the top" was the rule of the day. So, here we go, Kids. In the lyrical words of Elton John: "The Bitch is Back!"

My Ode to Fashion (thanks to the lyrics of "Fashionista" by Jimmy James)

Sean John, Calvin Klein
Donna Karan's fashion line
Valentino, YSL,
Ferragamo and Chanel
Holsten, Gucci, Figla, Rucci
Don't forget my Pucci
Fendi and Armani
God, I miss Gianni.

Kenneth Cole, Michael Korrs
Mr. Ford I can't afford.
D&G and BCBG
Looking good is never easy.

Alexander Perkovich
Naomi Campbell's such a bitch.
I wanna be Delgada
To fit into my Prada
Oscar de la Renta
Louis Vuitton
Imitation? Oh, Christ.
Beauty has a price!

Now I ask you, do you see CROCS anywhere in those incredibly 'with it' lyrics? Anywhere? I didn't think so. Not only are they not high fashion, but they don't even rhyme with anything remotely related to fashion. Just when I thought that the world had seen enough of Crocs classic smurf look, here they come with a new and improved high heeled version. I am not kidding. It's true. A high heeled Croc! And I know that most of my readers are going to be just as appalled as I, when they have a gander at the latest last breath of the plastic shoe.

I realize that this ranting of mine is somewhat repetitive, but this fashion mistake has gone on long enough. Studies have been done. It is now a proven fact that this piece of plastic is not good for your arches, and that when worn in the rain on our cobblestone streets, they have been known to cause bodily harm.

Now I usually do not laugh at someone else's expense... who am I kidding? of course I do... but there is nothing funnier than seeing a pair of Crocs flying through the air. What's funnier is the poor victim's reaction when the globs of rubber come flying down on them when gravity kicks in.

I mean, what did they think was going to happen? Were they scared the squishy shoes were going to do more bodily harm upon impact? I think not. A pair of Prada stiletto heels might sting a little, but a misshapen ball of rubber? Sometimes, the only thing to do is to make slipping and falling down a bunch of fun.

I used to think to myself, "Is it just me? Could I be the only person who thinks this way?" I have since found a fabulous web-site where like minded people gather. That's right, Folks. is the place to find all kinds of funny stories about those funny little shoes. This seems to be a global feeling and trend, so now I do not feel so bad.

I was out having dinner the other night on the Malecon, and in walked a lovely group of women who obviously had spent some time on getting ready for the night. There was one woman who, in particular, stood out in the crowd. The dress was fabulous, the makeup flawless and the Chanel bag she was toting was a piece of art. Imagine my surprise, shock and dismay when I looked down to see a pair of tie-dyed Crocs in a bright purple, blue and yellow mix. I mean really. Would it have killed her to find a pair of fancy black flip flops to go with a fresh pedicure?

These are not isolated incidents, My People. They are happening all over the globe. I won't even begin to try explaining my dismay at the masculine contingent at this year's Becas Ball. All I will say is this: "Ladies, if you are going to go to the trouble of getting decked out to create your most beautiful self, then why in the world would you let your escort or husband walk out wearing black socks and sandals?" If any of you have an answer to this question, please forward it to me.

I realize that all this might seem petty and shallow, but I am losing sleep, and the wrinkles are beginning to show. I can't afford Botox right now, so please let me know. I really need to understand how these things can happen.

I am off to New York City again for a week of education and fun. The International Beauty Show is happening and fifty thousand hair stylists and estheticians are about to descend upon the City.

Vidal Sassoon is turning 80, so they are having a special tribute where I'll be in attendance. And the shopping will be abundant. Now that's what I call a good time. I promise to tell you all about it when I get back. Till then, use your head, and put the gummy footwear away.
Given that Len's very first word was "more," and the second one was "pretty" it is no wonder that he now not only owns and runs the #1 salon and spa in Puerto Vallarta, blu by Len, but also writes a bi-weekly beauty column, Use Your Head. Whatever you hair may or may not need, Len will know exactly what to do or where to go to find the answer - just send him an email at len(at)

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