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Puerto Vallarta News NetworkVallarta Living | May 2005 

Hey Bonita, you want a Mexican Husband?
email this pageprint this pageemail usJOY! -

Transformational Healer & Personal Happiness Coach, Internationally Acclaimed Author & Speaker, JOY!’s grand passion is collecting tools to improve quality of life by empowering body, mind & spirit.
My girlfriend emailed me and asked "What are the men like in Mexico? Are Latin men really different from American men? Should bring my search for a husband over there?"

Yes they most certainly are different, and it's WONDERFUL! I adore Latin men. Where in America (or anywhere else for that matter) can a middle aged woman be told she is beautiful 20 times a day by men who really mean it and just have to let you know they think so?

Latin men love women, and they show it at every opportunity and to whatever degree you will let them. They openly admire and adore you, and have no hesitation in offering whatever service they think you might require of them.

"Oi bonita! You look so beautiful tonight. Where you going?"

"Need a Mexican Bodyguard?"

"Need a tour guide?"

"I give you massage! Free for you today."

"Need a Mexican boyfriend/husband?"

The other day a taxi driver leapt from his cab and dashed across the road to offer his arm to guide and escort me round the puddles to the other side of the street. If he had been wearing a coat he would have flung it down so I could walk across it.

A bus driver with an empty bus altered his course so he could take me to my destination.

Every time I go out clubbing I get gorgeous men, usually in their early 20's, begging me to let them come home with me. It is common for women to be 10, even 20 years older than the men they are dating, the men see this as only sensible. Women hit their sexual prime in their 40s, men in their 20s, it's natural and expected for young men to pursue, and even marry, much older women. You GOTTA love that!

Latin men have manners, if they see that you need help, they will offer it without a second thought. I accept the occasional grocery bag carrying offer from my local gallant knights. They walk on my left as a matter of courtesy, are usually as sweet as can be, and always very respectful of the word "no". They will back off immediately and without question if you make it clear that their attention is unwanted. Where in the West can you say that about men?

These blokes live in a different world and adhere to the old ways of chivalry, where men are men and women are to be protected and adored.

Western men were forced away from their chivalrous tendencies with the birth of the extreme feminist movement. Suddenly it was no longer safe or politically correct to be gentlemen. They had to sate their need to rescue maidens and slay dragons by turning their focus to material success and demonstrating their prowess in that way.

Latin women aren't so keen on being liberated, they prefer being looked after, they will never bite a bloke's head off for opening a door for them, and they know that the man pays the bills, that's his job as long as she looks after him. So the men got to retain their Arthurian gallantry… and their archaic views of a woman's place.

They are knights of the realm, lords of all they survey, heads of their households, Men with a capital M. They enjoy being surrounded by family, take enormous pride in their children and outside of family events and tradition, they socialize almost exclusively with other men. They would be perfectly at home in any scene requiring a suit of armor or a musketeer's hat.

Western men live in a dog eat dog world, they do what they have to do to get ahead in the courtrooms and boardrooms, they battle women equally with men, and only the strongest survive. They are raised to suppress their emotions, and they have to suppress their inclinations or they'll be sued for sexual harassment.

Mexican men live in a kinder world where material success is a secondary priority at best. So they are able to deal and compete with one another in a more friendly way, more like knights jousting. They greet one another with the single hand clasp followed by the upright fist where the knuckles of both men meet to acknowledge one another as equals. They are members of a Brotherhood, the Brotherhood of Man, and it doesn't include women.

They greet a woman with a long, appraising look, take her hand, kiss her on both cheeks and then attempt to acquire her, or at least discover her availability status. They see no reason or point in suppressing their natural inclinations, whatever they might be. To do so would surely rob life of too much color and spontaneity!

They wear their hearts on their sleeves and fall in love at the drop of a hat, even if they already happened to be married… with a mistress… and a girlfriend…

They must be taken absolutely seriously in the moment, and with a grain of salt after that. They live very much in the moment themselves, making passionate promises they absolutely mean, while they are with you, and that they forget completely when they move on to the next moment.

Latin men don't like to think things through too much. They get an impulse, they act on it, then work out the difficulties as they go. This can be a good thing, and a very bad thing when the men are for example, bus drivers playing chicken in the tunnel! Neither driver is able to back down regardless of the stakes or the risk to the people in his bus, death before dishonor.

Ponder a moment on the ramifications of that all too common occurrence, and you will have a glimpse of the basic nature of the Mexican man, and the society his mentality has produced.

Latin men are a whole 'nother breed, literally a world apart from Gringos. I doubt you will find more romantic, spontaneous, beautiful men anywhere. They are fantastic fathers, and wonderful lovers. And "NO amiga, don't bring your search for a life partner here" because all of these things also result in them being among the worst husbands in the world, especially if you happen to be a gringa with a more equal rights view.

Remember that when you come for a visit and get lost in openly adoring liquid brown eyes. When you hear the words "Hey Bonita, you want a Mexican husband?" realize that while the thought may be enchanting, the reality is less so.

Love them anyway.
JOY! Is an internationally acclaimed life transformation coach, famous for her unreasonable success in helping people move through their challenges with her unorthodox approach and emPOWERment tools. For more information, visit her website or call 044-322-129-1128.

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