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Puerto Vallarta News NetworkVallarta Living | March 2009 

On Being a Single Woman of a Certain Age in Puerto Vallarta - Part One
email this pageprint this pageemail usLiana Turner - PVNN

I know many other women who live here who are amazing and attractive people, but have not been able to find a partner to share life with. What is wrong with us? Nothing!
I recently had a conversation with a lady who lives here. She is married, and has been for most of her adult life, so she was curious about what it is like to be single here. Well, let me tell you what I told her:

I'm a very young 50 years old, still reasonably attractive, educated, and have read a lot of books. I'm a very good cook. I know how to drive a boat, and once worked on a pile driver. I have been rattlesnake hunting and killed several scorpions (only to protect my children.)

I know how to start and maintain an entertaining conversation. I own my own business. I have been to Antarctica and Europe and have lived in a foreign country. I can play pool in a dive bar or attend a formal dinner and feel comfortable doing both. I'd say I am a pretty well-rounded and interesting woman.

In the last five years I have had only one real relationship, and the reality of that one is still debatable. I know many other women who live here who are amazing and attractive people, but have not been able to find a partner to share life with.

What is wrong with us? Nothing! Sure, we all have faults, but nothing that can't be dealt with or even overlooked.

I am reminded of a book that was very popular, entitled, idiotically, Women Who Love Too Much. Hah! Women don't love too much. You can't love too much. How about calling the book, Men Who Refuse to Love, or Men Who Only Love When They Want Something, or how about Women Who Love Men Who Love Other Women Every Chance They Get, Especially if They Know They Won't Get Caught.

We have all heard the joke: Most of the men are either married, gay or leaving on Tuesday.

If you are a single woman living in Vallarta (or just about any town anywhere,) that is not really a joke, and I could add a few things to the statement, like this:

Most of the men are married, gay (or still deciding,) too old, too young, too drunk, too macho, spend too much time watching porn on the internet, looking for a submissive girl half their age... or leaving on Tuesday.

This problem is not unique to Mexico. I have spent quite a bit of time in Alaska. No, I didn't go there to find men. I was employed there. At the time there was a sort of promotional message going around that proclaimed, "Alaska... 13 Good Men for Every Woman!" I can tell you that the odds were very good... but the goods were very odd.

I heard a while back that there are 40 divorces processed in Vallarta every month. This created a vision in my head of a bunch of single ladies dressed in their finest hanging out at the courthouse on "divorce day," lined up like hookers at a truck stop, waiting to nab a fresh one on the way out. There is a lot of competition here, and it pays to act fast.

Remember those adorable little cartoon family stickers that used to be on the rear windows of nearly every SUV in town? Who do you think put them there? The women did, of course. The car was marked, and so was the driver. Anyone could see that the guy had a wife, three kids (a boy, a girl, and an as yet unidentified baby,) a dog and a cat.

Well, you hardly see those stickers anymore. They have systematically been removed. Who removed them? The men did, of course. How could they go to meet their girl friends with a picture of the family on the car? I would bet that sales of single edged razor blades soared last year. There is an old saying... "In Mexico, only the women are married."

Before I get labeled as a "Man-Basher," just take a look around. This is a reality that isn't my fault, and can't be denied. I don't hate men. I haven't given up on men. I am not bitter... not any more bitter than any other woman who has had her heart ripped out of her chest and stomped into a pulp.

I still believe there must be a few good ones out there somewhere, but it is so much more complicated than that. We need good men that can also see how good we are and that we are attracted to, and attraction is an intricate business.

Personally, I am not holding my breath waiting for a guy. I have a good life, and I am not obligated to pick up anyone's dirty socks but my own. For now, I like it that way. And if someday I do find dirty socks on my floor, I will make room in my life for them.

So, do I have any wise advice or suggestions for single women? Just keep your mind and your heart open, and let life take you to good places. Hopefully there will be some nice people to meet there.

Love and enjoy the people who are in your life now... most of all YOURSELF! Appreciate your friends and family, and be open to new people, even if they don't meet your romantic requirements. Maybe they know someone who does!

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The Irreverent Chef, a.k.a. Liana Turner, is the chef and owner of Paradise Bakery and Catering. Serving the "Best Cinnamon Rolls in Vallarta," along with delicious sandwiches, salads, main dishes and yummy sweet treats every day but Sunday, and providing all styles of catering services, from pre-prepared meals to-go for informal gatherings to full service elegance for dinners, cocktail parties, wedding receptions and special events, Paradise Bakery & Catering is located at Sierra Aconcagua 299, Prolongacion Brasil, Colonia Lazaro Cardenas, Puerto Vallarta. For more information, call (322) 222-5133 or visit

Click HERE for more articles by The Irreverent Chef

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